Category: Life

God’s Will

Ezra Chapter 1

Chapter 1 begins wit the Lord “stirring up the spirit” of the king of Persia, Cyrus. This is interesting because Cyrus was a heathen king of a heathen nation. So God has power over even those who do not regard Him. That God can do tis indicates that He has absolute power over all humans and human actions.

Thus brings up an interesting issue. If God does have the power to make people do stuff, and does have the power to stop people from doing things, then why doesn’t He always exercise this power? Are the times where He does step in times where man no longer has free will? I think of a situation where two people are playing chess. Suddenly God swoops down and invisibly moves some of the pieces around without the players realizing. Then the people continue playing almost as if nothing had happened. I say “almost” because obviously the game did change but the players don’t realize it.

To me it seems as if humans are puppets who have a mind of their own. God can at any time take over and control the scene or let the puppets run free.

When I look at the Old Testament, at least the parts I have read so far, I see God as being almost devious. Either that or He does not know and plan everything that is to come. If He knew what was going to happen, and had the power to change it (as we know He does) then why would He allow all the death and destruction that has occurred throughout history?

I guess I am saying that to know something is going to happen when you have the power to change or stop it is the same as planning the action.

God

Did God know mankind was going to sin?

God used the flood to cleanse the earth and start over, right? But it didn’t really work. The state of mankind after the flood was not really any better. So why did God even do it? It seems as if God failed in His attempt. If he knew that the Flood wasn’t going to work, why did He even bother? And why did He wait so long to send Jesus to the earth?

Don’t do it

If someone asks you to play sting ping-pong, don’t do it. It hurts like mad. Plus it will look like you played paintball without protective gear.

Glorifying God

What does it mean to live your life so that at any given time people have absolutely no doubt that God is being glorified by you?

I suppose the first thing is to identify what exactly it means to glorify God. And here I am stuck for now.

Last Night

What I am about to tell you never happened. See, it was the 2nd to the last night at Camp Bighorn and some of us guys wanted to do something fun before we headed back to Prairie. Oops, it is time for chapel I will have to continue later.

CONTINUATION:

Across the river from camp is a pair of train tracks. On one set are a stretch of train cars with no caboose or engine. They evidently have been sitting there for 6+ months. I thought it would be so sweet to swim the river and spend the night in one of the cars. Like my life wouldn’t be complete unless I did this. I mentioned it to a couple people, but found not much shared interest. Until I talked to Buckmaster.

Jason is a cool guy. From the start of Prairie he and I hit it off through frisbee. His skills and height make him a key player in any game. We are usually split off, much like Noah and I. In fact, we have only played on the same team once. We won. Jason is 24 and from WA. Old enough to know better.

Jason took care of getting the drybags and I readied the raft. We got to use the “reject” raft of camp. It was missing a tharwt and wouldn’t pump up all the way, but it was RED. I was cool with that. We checked out PFD’s and paddles. Joel had joined out expedition. I knew it was going to be a sweet night.

We loaded everything up and headed off. We were being dropped off above the Rock Garden and Cascade rapids. We would raft down them and then head over to the train. By the time we got there, it was getting dark quickly. Dusk does not last long in the valley. We didn’t bring helmets because camp policy does not require them on class II rapids and we didn’t expect any swimmers.

But in the dark everything changes. Our headlamps didn’t do anything so we just left them off. This is when Jason named our raft, the “Devil’s Advocate”. We sang hymns down the flatwater, and then made it to Rock Garden. Rock Garden is named so for obvious reasons. Plenty of rocks make passage kinda difficult, even in daylight. We made it without hitting a single one. Then we approach Cascade. The roar is loud, but we have all rafted this one before and know to stick to river right.

Man it was awesome in the dark. We almost got flipped on the last of the big waves because we hit it broadside, but we ended up making it just fine. Then we head over to river left and look for a spot to beach the raft for the night. Right as we find a good enough spot and are about to get out of the raft, we hear this loud splash. It is the type of splash that happens when someone throws a large rock (BFR) into the water. We stop and look around, but don’t see anyone. We then hear a couple more similar splashes in different spots. We think it must be people from camp who came over to mess with us.

Jason yells up, “What’s up homies?” After getting no answer, he then yells, “Chupp, we know you are there.” Still no answer, but we are sure we hear voices. and there are no more splashes for a little bit. We get out of the raft, grab our stuff and head up the bank to the tracks. We hear a couple more splashes but we still can’t see anyone nor see any lights. Jason suggests we wait them out on the tracks. So we set our stuff down on the empty tracks and climb to the top of the train cars right next to us. However, I make the suggestion to move the bags off the track just in case. At the top, we still don’t see anyone. Then a train comes by at a fast rate of speed. We lay down on top and try to act invisible but it doesn’t work, as we find out later.

After the train goes by, I look down and only see one dry bag in the dark. The other two are missing. The thought crosses my mind that the people could have come by and taken the two bags while the moving train hid them from our sight. However, we climb down and start to look for the bags. Joel’s is 30 feet up the track. Mine is even further up and actually rolled down a hill. I was incredible relieved to find it as it had my rented sleeping bag inside.

More later.

Hmm

For the past several days I have been wearing a skirt, a lot. Never again.

Value

What do I value? This is the question I was asked right before I started to climb up a telephone pole. Once at the top of the pole, I would stand up on the very top and jump off. What do I value?

Minutes later I was clinging to the top of the pole, wondering if I had the nerve to risk all and stand up on the 8 inch diameter pole 40 feet in the air. Finally I pulled one foot up. Balancing with my hands and left foot,I slowly began to bring my right foot up. Soon I would have to let go with my hands and balance only with my feet on this swaying piece of wood. Slowly, ever so slowly I brought my right foot up. Almost there, the wind began to blow. It was hard to keep balance. I knew I had to make a decision quickly whether or not to continue.

I asked myself, “Why in the world am I doing this?” If I quit and climbed back down I would be thought of as a coward by my peers standing down below who were watching my every move. I had to go on. I could not live in the midst of my peers if I did not finish. The very thought of being called a coward was repulsive.

At last, I had both feet on top of the pole and stood up to my full height. A roar of triumph escaped my lips. Goal one was complete, but now I had to move on quickly. Directly in front of me about 6 feet above my head and several feet out was a trapeze bar. Goal two was clear, I had to jump and grab the bar. If I missed the bar my life would be over. Or would it?

What would happen if I didn’t get the trapeze bar? It seems obvious enough, I would fall. My self-worth would be shot to pieces knowing I failed in doing something others could do. Somehow I would feel I wasn’t good enough, or even that I was no good. Come on, anybody can jump, it isn’t that far. I was finding value in what I could do, in how well I could perform. And if I messed up or failed, I would have no value.

I jumped off with no idea what would happen next. In the few moments that I flew through the air many emotions surfaced. Anticipation. Hope. Excitement. Triumph. Anger. Failure. My right hand almost wrapped around the bar, but fell just short. All my hope and value were crushed in one moment. I fell. I failed. This was the end of my life.

This is not how I am called to live as a child of God. God’s love goes way beyond my performance, which is very a good thing. My performance has a limit, God’s love does not. I need to realize this and take refuge in it. No longer does my life need to be ruined when I fail.

I fell only a inches before the belay team standing on the ground stopped me. My harness held. The top rope belay system took the shock of my fall. I was lowered to the ground safely.

There is a freedom in not finding my self-worth in my performance. When I do fall “the harness” of God’s love catches me. It was holding me the entire time. It really doesn’t matter to God that I couldn’t complete the goal. At first glance this makes it seem as if I don’t even have to try. Indeed, why would I if I knew God loved me no matter what? So in a since, this ideology makes it harder to try hard. I am okay with that. I like to try hard. However, my reason for trying hard is different now. No longer for my self-esteem but to push myself and grow.

Backpacking Photos


Landscape
Josh Climbing
Dylan and Josh making the tarp shelter
Toby, Tory’s son
Toby and Ethan
Oren
Tarp Shelter
Landscape
Nathan
Landscape
Mom looking after her little chicks
Team
Dylan and Josh Fighting on top of the mountain
Landscape
Landscape
Kerry and Nathan under tarp shelter
Nathan, Josh, Kerry
Landscape
Josh, Nathan
Landscape
Me on a ledge
Josh on a ledge
Nathan
Samantha, Josh, Kimberly
Kerry’s tarp shelter
Nathan in sleeping bag
Josh, Kimberly, Nathan
Landscape
Landscape
Nathan with Hawk
Doug’s broken arm
Julie
Mr. Collins
Nathan
Samantha playing Blood Sport
Nathan playing Blood Sport
Dylan playing Blood Sport
Dustin slacklining
Nathan Slacklining
Nathan and Dylan
Moosen on backpacking trip
Nathan, Josh, Dylan, Me
Me annoyed at Nathan
Tory’s boys nice and dirty
Kerry
Dylan and Josh jumping into frigid cold water
Kimberly pumping water
Frost on sleeping bag
Nathan and I on Cliff Peak
Dylan diving
Josh diving
Samantha, Dylan, Kerry, Josh, Kimberly
Me
The Raft

Note to self: Never play basketball again.

Yeah I’m homesick now.

End of an Era

Last night I had my last violin lesson, perhaps forever. It has been a good 6 years. I really enjoy my violin teacher, Gabriel Feurdean. I will greatly miss taking lessons from him.

On another note, for the first time I seriously hurt myself playing frisbee yesterday. Up until now, I have enjoyed an injury free career. However, I strained some muscles in my upper arm/shoulder that will prevent me from playing for a while. The bad thing is, I didn’t even catch the frisbee I was diving for. Almost, but not quite.

It was an interesting game. Basically it was 2 on 4, with me being on the side with 2. Sam and I also had this girl on our team, but she didn’t do hardly anything. I don’t think she understands that one must move quickly to get open. Oh well. On the other team were 3 good guys (including my arch rival, Noah) and my sister, who is also good. I enjoy playing with odds like this. It makes me have to work harder and I gain skills more quickly.

Anyway, we were down about 8-4. Sam threw the frisbee out ahead of me and I was running all out to get it. We would have been able to score had I caught it. I dove stretching as far as I could. Somehow I landed and got hurt. Oh well. Depending on how slow my arm heals, that could have been my last frisbee game before I leave. That is not an exciting prospect.

I remember when I pulled my shoulder muscle a long time ago. This is basically the same, though not as intense pain as then.